Coming out (again) for LGBT History Month
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"You'll be coming out for the rest of your life."
These words made me scared and sad when I first heard them spoken by the leader/mentor of a gay men's support group in college... I didn't want to do it once, let alone be coming out for "the rest of my life"! I was nervous then (age 22) and I still feel uncomfortable with it. Still hard to say "I'm gay" but it's getting easier.
Still, last year, I waited until the LAST day of Pride Month to make this post. This year I made it today. 🎉
The mentor was trying to tell me that, as a non-obvious gay man, I would be 'coming out' for the rest of my life because people simply wouldn't expect me to be gay. I first came out in 2012 at age 22. I realized I wouldn’t be able to get what I wanted in life as long as I was running 'away’ from the things I disliked about the label of 'gay'. I felt like I didn’t fit the stereotypes. But how could I find true friendships and relationships if I wasn’t being honest to those people around me? I needed to go TOWARDS what I wanted—not away from what I didn’t want.
As I matured and met people, I realized that my stereotypes were based on a highly visible & vocal portion of LGBT people. Those were the people I saw in parades and media. How could I be gay if I wasn’t those things?? And would people assume I was like that if I came out? Stupid thinking as I look back on it now., but these were the things I was afraid of. But since then I've learned there’s also accountants, football players, computer technicians, and call center employees that you’d never know where gay. When I was young, I struggled because I didn't feel like I 'fit in' with the visible gay scene that I perceived. Little did I know there were many people one would not know to be gay.
Now I'm in that category and because of the fact most people ‘would never have guessed’ I’m gay, I resolved to repeatedly & frequently come out in order to chip away about those stereotypes. I'm still working on that part. Much appreciation (more than you can ever know) to those of you who read this far...who support...who make it known with your words and actions that it's "okay" to be different.
Thank you!
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