These words matter.

I don’t say “Don’t be a p***y” because it implies that having a certain body feature is indicative of being a coward.

I don’t say “Don’t be a d**k” because it implies that having a certain body feature is indicative of bad behavior.

I don’t say “that’s gay” as a synonym for something being bad or dumb

Here’s some more…

I don’t say “girl push-ups” to describe the push-up from the knees. Pairing the lesser version with the label ‘girl’ is the kind of “reductionist” language that makes me crazy!

I think it should be treated as unacceptable as the other examples here.

Being aware, and disciplined, about the language we use is a core tenet of my coaching style.

From the earliest days of running my own gym, I’ve always had one “rule” I would tell to new members.

Let me tell you the story.

This is exactly what I would tell new members on their first workout.

The #1 rule when you are working out here with us is that you never make a comment on yourself that would be rude if it was coming from another person. Don’t say it out loud, and don’t say it internally!

We are not allowed to talk to ourselves in a way that we would not allow other people to talk to us.

Here's how that rule came into being.

One time I lead a great exercise class with half a dozen participants through a REALLY tough workout in the early morning rain, and we finished with a celebratory group photo in front of a large monster truck tire.

I thought it was a fantastic capture of this hard-core group of individuals that almost anyone would be jealous of!

When I posted that picture on social media, I received a comment from one of the individuals in the photo….

She said remind me never to wear gray because I look as wide as that tractor tire!

Maybe she was being light-hearted or making a joke, but I thought this was unbelievably rude. In fact, if it was her saying it about anyone else in the photo, she would unequivocally be removed from the gym. That kind of conduct towards another member would be unacceptable.

Mary comment on herself in a group picture with a comment that would be unbelievably rude if ANYONE ELSE had said what she said.

This kind of negative self-talk is not permissible. Don't get down on yourself about your performance in a workout, your results on the scale, or even your effort overall.

Words matter, and the words you say to yourself matter most.

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